Sunday, March 11, 2007

Chapter Fourteen: Left to Say

"You're not going," Tyler said plainly.

"What," Allyson was confused.

"You're not going. It's too dangerous. Not now, when you have just returned and are just remembering who you are. I am not putting you into that situation again."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you got to make my decisions for me."

"I'm a leader, Allyson. That's what I do. I make the choices that others don't want to make. It's too soon for you to be going out there again. You need to stay here and become reacquainted with yourself and all of us."

"So that's it then, you think I'd be a threat to the Returners. You think that I might give you up at a moments notice just because all of my memories aren't intact. I don't remember must, but you are all my family. I know that."

"It's not about that Allyson, and you know it."

"Fine," she paused, "I'm not a child needing your coddling, Tyler. I'm back, and I want to help."

"And you can, just not in this way. You can help us here, underground, but I'm not letting you out into the field, not yet, and that's my final decision."

She felt her throat constrict in disappointment, anger, and grief.

"So you rescued me for nothing," she said ungratefully, knowing it wasn't true but in anger, wanting to hurt Tyler.

She left without waiting for him to respond.

Alone in her room she did not cry, although she briefly thought about it. She felt useless. It was worse than the numb feeling, the lost feeling of not remembering. She would have to talk with Tyler again. She must convince him of her point of view, remind him of her reasons for being here, her need to do something. She had to approach this logically and systematically, not impulsively as she had done in the meeting room moments before.

She'd write a letter - it would prevent problems, reduce her anxiety. She moved toward her desk, fumbling around, unable to recall where she left her paper, her pens. The moment overwhelmed her. Allyson burst into tears just as a knock sounded on the heavy entrance to her room.


Kristi said...

Awesome place to leave off for the next person! As I have commented of your team's other posts, the use of dialogue really works for you guys. I also feel that you could show a litle more rather than just tell us. I think it's about trusting your audience to understand your story without having to hammer the information into them. The emotions are there in your writing; therefore, we don't need to be told things like that her throat was constricting in "disappointment, anger, and grief"-- your natural talent to write fiction already gives us these emotions.

2 wishes: 1)Is there any way to format your blog in chronological order? Or maybe to have just 1 post per page? That way your audience can scroll back to where they left off reading without that awkward looking around for the next piece thing.
2)I wanted to leave a general comment for all of you guys, but I guess I'll just leave it here: good work, guys. It's an interesting and somewhat difficult task you've taken on, and I admire that you have kept your story going for this long!

Fillmore said...

I agree, you guys write really well together. The breaks don't feel jarring; they just feel like a thoughtful shift in focus. You're all very good at keeping the same basic tone throughout the whole thing.

Burdamania said...

Allyson seems like a real ingrate. I suppose writing a letter is constructive, but at the same time really passive too.

Mags said...

Well, now that I'm finally caught up I'm a little bummed that there isn't more to read. I think you guys do a great job of keeping the same tone, but at the same time I like that I can kind of tell who writes which chapter. I'm really curious to hear more about how you guys are working on this.